Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Pants are for mortals
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
