I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
where are my eyebrows?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
