I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
