The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I looked at my own cervix.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize