dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
