he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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