I want to have your abortion
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
