we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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