There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
