Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I understand Curling. That high.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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