hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
