just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
