I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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