im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
