Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
