Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
ttyl tear gas
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
