we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
