we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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