There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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