You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
