You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize