oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
