I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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