you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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