hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
