guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
