Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
