You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
