I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize