Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
