I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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