best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
