Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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