Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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