My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
