Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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