When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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