i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize