My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Everclear isn't food dammit
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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