She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
