Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
