just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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