Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
