all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize