I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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