I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
