so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
