FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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