it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I deserve this hangover.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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