He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
