I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
