Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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