I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize