I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
