Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
