I wish my penis had an off switch
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize