I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
