therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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