just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
