I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's official drugs can't kill me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
