is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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