We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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