Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
