OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
