i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
