Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
