Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
