that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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