so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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